I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
