i permit you to call me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
