Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
