Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So squirting runs in the family.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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