I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think my vagina is haunted
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
