So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
