What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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