If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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