ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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