She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
