but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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