I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize