Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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