My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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