I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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