Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
