WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
