Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize