Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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