he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
