Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
