Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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