she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
