Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
