omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
