i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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