I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
