It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
