I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My dad is sitting where you rode me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
