More tranny stories later!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
