the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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