It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
