she was so not down for the gang bang
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
