goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
