You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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