Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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