just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
