I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
