then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
