his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
