I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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