one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to make out with him forever
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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