Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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