I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
