Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Oh god it's open bar.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
