She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
