I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
