dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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