it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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