The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
