we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize