I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
