well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
