Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
