Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize