genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
