Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
