I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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