Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
