but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
