so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
