i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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