wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Im part way to drunk.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
